
Here are some things that happen in Smurfs, the 2025 animated movie about those little blue guys called Smurfs.
- A long montage of character introductions, with the names of each character splashed on the screen: Papa Smurf, Smurfette, Brainy Smurf, Hefty Smurf, Sound Effects Smurf, Baker Smurf, and so on. Some of these characters barely appear again in the movie; many are visually indistinguishable
- Multiple musical numbers, with the Smurfs all facing the camera doing synchronized, learnable dance routines, set to intense, reggaeton-flavored tracks that go surprisingly hard
- Multiple swooshy rollercoaster moments, of the sort that were compulsory during the 3D era, where the Smurfs go “WHOOAAAAAA” while zooming along some sort of rainbow ribbon between dimensions or something
- A prologue in which a narrator tells us all about the four color-coded talking magic books that govern all peace, harmony, and goodness in the universe (they were stolen by evil wizards, but the one with Amy Sedaris’ voice is hiding out with the Smurfs)
- A bit where the Smurfs travel through alternate dimensions that are animated in different styles, like claymation and anime
- A bit where the Smurfs meet a race of cute, mischievous furry things called Snooterpoots that nobody asked the filmmakers to invent but I guess they’re part of Smurfs lore now
- Voice cameos by a long list of ridiculously famous people with better things to do that includes John Goodman, Nick Offerman, Kurt Russell (Kurt Russell!), Natasha Lyonne, Sandra Oh, Jimmy Kimmel, Octavia Spencer, Hannah Waddingham, and, apparently, viral hit DJ Marshmello as a Smurf-sized turtle whose presence in the movie is entirely mystifying
- Some bits where the Smurfs inhabit a fully animated world, some bits where they inhabit a live-action world (including the “real” Paris), and a bit where they ride along with some photorealistic CG kangaroos, with no clear explanation for the jarring changes in style
- Multiple scenes where Smurfette, played by international pop star, billionaire entrepreneur, and powerful Black woman Rihanna, helps No Name Smurf, played by professional annoying English white man James Corden, realize his dream to Find His Thing and become the hero who saves the day
- Some stuff about the origin of Smurfette, the only female Smurf, and how she was created by the evil wizards to tempt the Smurfs to their doom (to be fair, I can’t blame this on the movie, it’s part of historic Smurfs lore)
- A bit where a Smurf appears to say the word “fuck” but it’s hilariously bleeped out by Sound Effect Smurf, for the dads




I could go on, but you get the idea. Smurfs is garbage. It’s a randomized assortment of Stuff That Happens in Kids’ Animated Movies, which scriptwriter Pam Brady (Hot Rod) and director Chris Miller (Shrek the Third, Puss in Boots) seem to have organized into a narrative by means of free-association. It’s mostly meaningless, or occasionally mildly offensive, if you stop to think about it. It’s also blandly drawn, stiffly animated, and maddeningly inconsistent in its visual design.
Look, I get it; it’s tough to make something out of the Smurfs. I grew up in the U.K., but I have family in France and Switzerland, and visiting them in the summers, I would always be drawn to my cousins’ racks of bandes dessinées — French-language comic books, often originating in Belgium, usually published in lovely big-format hardcovers. Tintin and Asterix are the ubiquitous ones that were translated around the world, but I would also find the likes of Spirou et Fantasio (a Tintin knockoff about a bellboy who goes on adventures), Gaston (a brilliant slapstick metacomedy set in the offices of Spirou’s publisher), and the Smurfs, or Les Schtroumpfs — miniature blue gnomes that began as supporting characters in a medieval fantasy series called Johan et Pirlouit.
The Smurfs’ iconic look, created by the Belgian comics artist Peyo, helped make them internationally famous, with the help of some very efficient licensing and merchandizing. But the original comics were never that widely published, and at this point, the Smurfs are just famous for being famous. They’re globally recognizable, which is why films still get made about them, but they don’t stand for anything or have much of a coherent overall narrative. They’re a black hole of meaning that’s difficult to fill.
Smurfs tries to fill it, but fails. It isn’t boring — it moves along at a clip, and keeps shape-changing in a way that keeps the audience off balance. But it’s a lazy assortment of kids’ movie tropes that exists only to keep a perpetual branding machine in motion.
My 6-year-old daughter loved it.
Smurfs arrives in theaters on Friday, July 18.
Source:https://www.polygon.com/animation-cartoons/613415/smurfs-2025-review-this-isnt-even-a-movie